Madness Takes a Toll. Please Have Exact Change.

theamazingios6maps: The famous “Hudson River Waterfall” beneath...

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 13:18:03 -0400

theamazingios6maps:

The famous “Hudson River Waterfall” beneath the twisted ruins of the George Washington Bridge.

Here’s the QR code for this blog. I used a Chrome...

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 23:28:34 -0400

Here’s the QR code for this blog. I used a Chrome extension, QR Creator, to make a scannable image that links here.

Dear Jennifer... Help! My Parents are Insane!!

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:11:00 -0400

Dear Jennifer,

Help! My parents are always around me, telling me what to talk about, talking to my friends, and hanging out with me wherever I go. I can’t even go to the bathroom without my Mom yelling up, asking me if I finally started my period.

When vampires first came out, I thought my parents were kinda cool, because they didn’t freak out like my friends’ parents. But then they told me that they want to become vampires so that they can turn me into a vampire. I don’t want to be twelve forever!!

Please, Jennifer, help me!!!

Signed,

Terrified of Twelve

Dear Terrified,

Sugar, I’m fixin’ to you that you don’t need to worry. We vampires don’t turn kids into vampires because getting old while staying a child just messes with your head. Generally speaking, we use local guidelines about adulthood as the minimum age limit. So here, you need to be eighteen before anyone would change you over.

As for your parents, they sound like they need the help, not you, serious psychiatric help. I suggest you speak with your school counselor or some other trusted adult about how to handle your parents’ behavior. Or, if you want, I can come over and speak with them about the vampire part. Cause, hon, no one will turn them in their current mental state.

Good luck, and let me know how things turn out.

Christy's Musings: We're Here!

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 22:10:03 -0400

Greetings, fellow humans!

No, I am not really that cheery, but I was told in no uncertain terms to make everyone feel welcome here. Not that the “here” part of here matters since I am not actually in your computer and you are not in my computer monitor. But I assume you understand anyway.

At least I hope you do.

I must admit, moving from one website to another was rather anti-climatic considering the trouble and headaches we endured this week. I still sit at my computer and I still write things in my here that magically appear in your here.

Yes, yes, I hear you now. ”But Christy, it’s not magic. It’s science.”

Whatever.

I only care because I know of real magic, and the users of real magic would do more than shake their heads at me if I didn’t care.

Some idio… I mean a very nice young lady wrote a questions to Jennifer about vampire parents? I try hard not to know what Jennifer is doing, but I know she will have a new post for you on Monday. Gregory is beside himself in happiness; apparently someone liked his post on the origins of vampires so now he is scouring the legends for more stories. Sarah, well, Sarah is just being Sarah, and I never question someone like her.

As for me, I received a question about fairies. I will tell you more next Tuesday.

Until then, try not to die.

We're moving? It's rather complicated...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 09:15:29 -0400

Due to the…um… unfortunate accident involving Gregory and Lulu, relations between the vampire community and the shapeshifters has grown rather tense? Strained?

What rubbish! The truth is those furballs want recompense for the “accident” even though Lulu…

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The Verity of Vampires, Part 2

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:35:33 -0400

Greetings! Let us continue with the various stories about how vampire came to be.

The third story comes the story of Lucifer. After Lucifer tricked Eve, God grew angry with Lucifer. A war among the angelic hordes broke out, and though Lucifer was a…

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Christy's Musings: What's in a Name?

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 09:57:36 -0400

Right, I have received several emails asking me about my name. Many hint around the question; many think that they are hinting though I must tell you that subtly it becoming a lost art; still others ask me outright – “How can your name be ‘Christy’?…

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Dear Jennifer: Do Vampires Get Married?

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 09:27:38 -0400

Dear Jennifer,

I was talking to my friends, and we were wondering if vampires ever got married.

Teen Wonders

Dear Teen Wonders,

Simple answer: Why yes, yes we do.

Complex answer: Because vampires live a much longer life than humans, we have a varying…

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How To Become A Vampire: Candidate Requirements

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 08:28:30 -0400

Salutations,

My name is Sarah, secretary to the Vampire Kings and chief editor of the real world Vampire Handbook. While the other members of our publishing team work to keep people informed on currently popular topics, I will translate and transcribe…

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The Verity of Vampires, Part 1

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 09:13:11 -0400

Greetings! I hope that you accepted our apologies for the absence; I truly did know better, especially since we only had heavy whipping cream and not freshly obtained sheep’s milk. But as they say, it’s water under the bridge.

I have received several…

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Christy's Musings

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 08:08:45 -0400

Ye, gods! I find it difficult to concentrate on creating this handbook when every time I turn around I feel pounded by all the political crap that you humans generate every time you elect a new president. Or a new senator. Or new toy. Or new dish soap.

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Dear Jennifer.... How Can I Get His Attention?

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 09:06:21 -0400

Happily, someone sent in a question to me, so here it is.

Dear Jennifer,

Since vampires came out to us humans, I realize that my handsome, shy neighbor is a vampire. My question is, how do I get his attention? I’ve trying stealing his mail and then…

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Accidents and Apologizes

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:59:49 -0400

Dear Readers,

I must apologize for the absence of posts of late. Two weeks ago, there was an …., well, an accident at our abode. It involved heavy whipping cream, rope, a plunger, two guinea pigs, strawberry jello, a couple of monkey wrenches, an old…

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Christy's Musings - July 5, 2012

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 16:22:12 -0400

Hello, my mortal friends,

I apologize if you did not feel welcomed by my first post. I heard that it wasn’t, well, introduce-y enough. The Vampire Kings made it clear that they want everyone to feel welcome, and no one disappoints them.

The Vampire…

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Christy's Musings, July 5, 2012

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 16:16:40 -0400

Hello my mortal friends,

I must apologize for my first post. Apparently, it was not, well, introduce-y enough. The Vampire Kings were quite specific that we need to be friendly and open-seeming with the humans, so I will try again.

The Vampire Handbook…

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The Graffiti Creator Tool

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 23:23:00 -0400

graffiticreator.org

Here’s my graffiti. What’s yours?

An Acapella Gaelic melody from Rhiannon of Carolina Chocolate...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:04:09 -0500

An Acapella Gaelic melody from Rhiannon of Carolina Chocolate Drops

Video

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:22:56 -0500

Photo

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:07:53 -0500

Wall Street Bb Blues - Notation

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:38:46 -0500

Wall Street Bb Blues - Notation:

chrisyoder:

For anyone interested, here is a copy of the score for this piece.